Fighting intolerance and oppression

Fort Worth, TX

5/13/2008

One hundred thousand dollars — now there’s a good, round, serious-sounding sum. Double it, and you’ll see why professors Harriet Cohen and David Jenkins are smiling.

For the second year in a row, a TCU social work faculty member has been awarded a $100,000 grant from the John A. Hartford Foundation. The grant, disbursed over two years by the Gerontological Society of America, encourages scholars to improve the well-being of older adults.

One way to do this is by engaging in groundbreaking research that will help practitioners to better serve this age group. Cohen’s examination of forgiveness in older Holocaust survivors and Jenkins’ investigation of the difficulties encountered by gay grandparents may seem very different on the surface. But both aim to understand the repercussions of intolerance and oppression and how people have learned to overcome them.

Harriet Cohen, assistant professor, had wondered for years how people survived the grievous atrocities of the concentration camps and then went on to become productive citizens. “They left family, country and language behind and arrived in a new country, learned a new language, had a family and lived seemingly normal lives. What sort of spiritual and moral equipment allowed this group to live through adversity?”

She believes that it may revolve around the concept of forgiveness. A Jew herself, Cohen is quick to point out that the Jewish concept of forgiveness is different from the Christian concept of turning the other cheek. It derives from the idea of reconciliation, literally returning to God.

Through interviews with Holocaust survivors, Cohen has noted three different ways of reconciling with God. Note that this is not forgiveness of those who committed the crimes, but a sort of balancing act with the deity who allowed them to happen.

One attitude is not a return to God but a rejection of Him, because a loving God would not have allowed the brutality and horror to occur. Another attitude is to maintain a relationship with God throughout the atrocities and afterward. The third attitude is one of anger. But instead of rejecting God, survivors make a deal with him: “I forgive you if you forgive me for doubting you, and for what I had to do to survive.”

Aside from reconciliation with God, a theme emerges that describes survivors’ lives: a sort of defiant goodness meant to counteract evil. Living a good and ethical life helps one deal with trauma. “These lives derive meaning through positive action and bearing witness,” said Cohen.

Her goal is to understand how survivors formed this ability to adapt and move forward after suffering immense pain and loss in order to help others who must adapt to crises and losses as they age. “As older adults, how do they negotiate the aging process and make meaning of these critical life events?”

Cohen is working on a documentary composed of these interviews. She feels strongly that “we can learn about the concepts of forgiveness and resiliency from these older adults who endured inhumanity and yet triumphed over it.”

INHUMANITY has many forms, one of which is sexual oppression. David Jenkins, associate professor and chair of the social work department, hopes to gain insight from the experiences of older adults who have struggled with societal intolerance and marginalization. His research is based on his earlier investigation of the challenges faced by fathers formerly in a heterosexual relationship and their new same-sex partners.

“These men go from being socially acceptable partners and parents to being members of a marginalized group, considered by some members of society to be unacceptable as parents,” said Jenkins. Inclusion in family holidays, child custody and visitation becomes problematic. Bonds break that were once unquestionably secure.

Jenkins learned from in-depth interviews that maintaining a connection to their children is crucial to these fathers. As one dad put it: “I cannot imagine not fighting for my child. I will love him in spite of anything that happens.” However, they’re equally committed to their gay identity. The same father adds: “My gay relationship is worth fighting for also.”

But the battle’s not easy. In many households, intolerant attitudes prevail. One son told his father: “I’m going to rejoice when I’m in heaven and you’re in hell.”

Other families have more success. One father stated, “Psychologically we do very well. We are affirming, supportive and involved.”

Sadly, as Jenkins discovered in his most recent research, even families who have adjusted well, often revert to negative stereotypes when a new generation arises.

Rejection of the father and his new partner by the original family is played out a second time when a new baby enters the family and these fathers become grandfathers. The prospect of having to explain in a few years that the child’s grandfather is gay seems to revive old resentments and intolerance. Many gay grandparents and partners are pushed away once again from the family which seemed to have accepted them.

Family educators and social workers are, by and large, aware of the difficulties that divorced couples and stepfamilies face. But in Jenkins’ view, more needs to be done to study the complexities inherent in gay stepfamilies, especially those of the older generation.

“Formally examining the processes of relationships in gay stepfamilies can benefit our understanding of all families, influence the development of family theory, and inform future public policies,” he said.

Public policy also affects societal attitudes. The illegality of gay marriage in most states means that negative attitudes about parenthood and grandparenthood within those relationships will change very slowly.

But Jenkins isn’t keen on waiting. “The literature on family studies tells us that grandparents are the second most important relationship in a child’s life,” he said. “I don’t want to see children or grandparents miss out on this connection. It’s not just or fair to either party.”

Helping older people to live better, more complete lives is the goal of both researchers. The groups they study have been shaped by different social, cultural, and historical times, but they share many of the same concerns: meaning, identity, family, health and aging.

Jenkins’ interest in the challenges faced by the lesbian and gay community has led to two other projects: looking at the experience of gays and lesbians in both gay-specific and mainstream addiction treatment centers, and a study of long-term care for older gays.

Many older gays hide their sexual orientation when they enter long-term care facilities. Will they be treated differently if staff-members know they are gay? “It is the fear of intolerance that often keeps gays from seeking help,” says Cohen, who is co-investigator with Jenkins on this interdisciplinary study.

“Older gays grew up with the idea that society would never accept them. Now that society is more open, they still feel afraid,” continues Cohen. “In some instances, staff have threatened to out the person or refused to bathe them. We want to teach students and staff how to deal with diversity and recognize sexuality in older adults.”

The field of gerontology has only recently begun to acknowledge that seniors are sexual beings. Acknowledging homosexuality in older adults and training practitioners to treat all sexual orientations with the same respect will relieve the worries that many older gays have about using social services.

Learning from seniors about resilience and survival. Learning from seniors in order to teach tolerance. The research that professors Cohen and Jenkins feel so passionately about confirms what society seems to have forgotten: that the elderly have a great deal to teach both young and old alike.

More at www.harriscollege.tcu.edu and www.jhartfound.org